slon23-63 писал(а):Новость вообще не стоит обсуждения! Лучше бы поделились инфой о сюжете новой части. Нахер нам нужно знать то ,что уже принято как стандарт на консолях: 30-60 фпс?
Basically DOOM 1 was "Oh shit we're invaded" then everyone dies except you. Since you can't fly the shuttle back to Earth to save yourself, you decide to try to clear out the base.
You kinda do, except you get ambushed and die. Because the base on Deimos is actually a part of hell now, that's where you "respawn" in hell.
You clear out THAT base and its new commander and actually go to the outer levels of old school hell. Again, you clear THAT shit out, goddamn, and kill the guy leading the invasion on mars. The guy leading Hell basically gives you a teleporter to earth so that you'll stop messing shit up. That's right, HELL BROUGHT YOU BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE YOU KICKED ITS ASS.
Then you teleport to earth and OH SHIT DEMONS ARE HERE TOO! Apparently you meet the last few survivors and get them onto a space ship so they can get the fuck out of dodge. The problem is, the base where the launch button is overrun by demons.
You clear THOSE demons out, launch the ship and save humanity. You're such a stone cold badass holy balls. But you're tired as fuck, and you should be you magnificent bastard you, you decide to lie down and rest. Then some douche commander says "So yeah, thanks and all. Oh yeah, we found out where they're coming from. It’s your hometown." So you get the fuck back up.
THEN you fight your way to your hometown and find where the demons are coming from. Do you go through the portal? Shit yeah you do, there are still demons to kill bitch.
You fight your way through the SERIOUS part of hell, then kill SATAN. Unless Plutonia/TnT are canon. Then its just some bigass guy that's like Satan's best friend, and you never kill Satan.
And that is why the Doomguy is the single most powerful human in the history of all games everywhere.
Even fucking jrpg faggots need a group of 3 people and some faggoty power of loveв or friendship to kill God. Doomguy kills Satan with a fucking man-made rocket launcher.
So he goes home. And scientist and shit try to make him better, because lemme tell you, this fucker's been to hell TWICE and he's totally fucking fine. Suddenly, a satellite picks up demon activity back on the home base.
The fucking military then says "well, we can either send in someone who by all rights and if we followed protocol should be honorably discharged, given hookers, mansions, free shit for the rest of his motherfucking life, or we can send not the Doomguy". And so the Doomguy goes fucking BACK.
And what the fuck does he find there? More fucking demons. Again. You'd think he'd be traumatized seeing unholy horrors the likes of which normal people could not possibly imagine,
but fuck no he's the Doomguy. The demons aren't. They're fucking dead.
So he kills the fucking "Mother Demon" which apparently is the reason the base went to hell again for the third fucking time. And what does he do? Does he go back home to be an international hero?
Fuck no. He goes BACK INTO HELL FOR A THIRD FUCKING TIME, THIS TIME FOR ALL ETERNITY. And what does he do? He fucking kills everything faster than everything can produce things for him to kill.
He camps hell like a fucking fat neckbeard Everquest player. And you know those demons are complaining to the admin of HELL "fucking ban this camping noob" and the admin, who is probably Satan's twin brother or something that would make everyone else shit themselves to death, is like "fuck no I want to live".
So when you die and you go to hell like you're fucking supposed to, asshole, and you see fucking nothing, don't fucking think that this is some zen shit. Hell is not being eternally bored, Hell is demons shoving their spiked cocks into everything on your body that is or is not a hole.
But you're not going to experience that like you deserve, sinner. Maybe once you'll come across a hard motherfucker with a green suit and a shotgun. Do us all a favor and brofist him. He fucking earned it.
(C)
И, кстате, чето в этом есть.